midnight on ganymede
in the event that i die in the next few moments
it will always be important to know…
your something new. i think you have might have woken me up.
and i have had an existence that art would be jealous of.
i have had a life that has been full of poetry.
full of beautiful people.
but no one has looked at me quite like you have.
you have entered into the way i myself see the universe.
i want to ask you out.
i gave you your present on Sat.
that was a line of poetry.
i want to ask you out.
that will also be a line of poetry.
i do not try and believe i know anything.
i really really don’t.
it’s that i finally feel like i can write again.
and that makes me glad.
i can take all the things my past self wrote and either
print the mania
or burn it all to the ground. really
i do not give a shit either way.
because it will always be important to know that without you,
this whole thing means nothing.
and that when you told me you loved me
and i was able say it back.
i got so so incredibly sad.
and i really just began to miss you all the time.
you made me want to hear those words for the rest of my life
and only from you.
i am still not exactly sure how to make that happen
and chances are i never will
you woke me up.
and if i die with these poems.
but i have you…
All will be worth it.
and i will have no reason for regret.
because i took the chance,
and you helped me.
i will see you soon.
just know that this is only just in case.
just in case i never learn to not miss you.
which i am sure i never will.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DESTINY.
this is not what this is about.
I AM NO KID. I AM NO MAN. I AM EVERY ANIMAL.
this is not what this is about.
I EXIST IN EVERYTHING. I HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING.
now this is what this is about.
I HAVE SEEN THE ETERNAL.
the eternal has seen me.
I SWEAR TO REMAIN IN OUR CURRENT; AN UNDULATION.
for i love her so.
I SWEAR ON MY SOUL THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.
i was silenced with still everything to say.
I BELIEVE IN ETERNITY AND IT HURTS ME SO.
everything wasn’t supposed to fly through the window. but since it has, and will again, wake me the fuck up.
THIS SENSATION CANNOT BE STOPPED AND IS PAINFUL.
though it feels amazing and clear.
BUT THERE IS RELIEF IN LOVE MY FRIEND. \
but there is real relief in love my friend.
ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
meanwhile ratlyon, on the moon Ganymede heaven really does exist.
me and her have a garden there with all kinds of animals.
and we make honey.
so that while the coldness of the moon buries our bones within the story of the universe, it does not have half of the effect upon her and i’s eden that you might imagine.
the sky only seems a bit more grey.
o God above! jupiter is so lovely.
i can’t even look at her sometimes.
i can’t speak to her at times.
but she’s mine.
we’re here forever.
we will live forever.
we may die forever.
but we are everything.
we are the eternal.
we are the undulation.
we are the over soul.
any argument must occur in order to proceed with our honeymoon which is forever.
Any argument ends in making up for now and forever.
we gather crystals that we find around our home there.
they shine even now.
they make wonderful candles which i see now in the corners of her eyes.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DESTINY.
but i believe in her.
We are alone no more.
i feel a power never controlled before
and with letting go and making myself vulnerable to her
that i have found a love so strange that it makes me manic
and then puts me to sleep.
my dreams are reality.
i just want to take care of you.
You don’t need it but i want to so incredibly bad
And the midday sun is finally above Jupiter.
The moon turns. We talk about honey.
“We make love and feed our fishes.
We talk quietly and hold our turtles.”
DUTY BEFORE PLEASURE
YET IN THE HOUSE OF THE JEW I AM WITH THE SOUL OF JESUS. I MUST FLOAT UPON THIS RIVER BEFORE I CAN BECOME THE SEA. – THAT BRIDGE JUST SHOUTS
CAN IT BE THIS SIMPLE?
& BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE I WISH TO RUN WITH I HAVE DISCOVERED SOME COURAGE AND WILL GIVE YOU MY EVERYTHING.
ALL IS GOD IMAGERY. METAPHOR AND FEELING.
THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTH DIED ZARATHUSTRA, AND HE MUST DIE ONCE MORE FOR HE MURDERED OUR GOD.
I WISH TO HEAR WITH MY EYES AND SHATTER MY HEART.
I HOPE I CAN SEE IN DEATH THE JUSTIFICATION FOR LIFE.
i speak these days never quitely. i shout. i have never shouted before.
BUT FOR NOW I CARRY AND EAT THE CORPSE. AND IN THE FOREST I LAY GOD’S HEAD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TREE TO PROTECT OUR BODY OF FAITH FROM THE MONSTER
BUT SOON I WILL LEAVE MY DUTIES AS A VESSEL AND FOCUS ONLY ON THE REBIRTH OF THIS ANIMAL.
THEN WE ALL WILL BE PART OF THE RESURRECTION OF SPRING.
but on gany. we listen to music.
we lay around our days.
she calls me names.
i want to hold her constantly,
we look at jupiter constantly.
we love this moon.
we love our temple,
we think of having kids.
we see their eyes.
we see them running.
we seen them swim the river.
i protect her.
i love her.
the first time she told me i was so incredibly sad.
i wanted those words to be true so very much.
i dont know what the fuck love is but it is this.
“pass the tea dear.
i need more honey.
you are the most beautiful thing i have ever and will ever see.
don’t you ever let me go.
i miss you all the time and your always here.
you are my everything.
:jupiter orbits the sun. gany flies around it.
the forever is real. galaxies align.
ask me how i know.
just don’t expect logic
my mind never works like that even when it did.
something has woken me up.
THE ENERGY OF OUR INFERNAL JUPITER SHOUTS THAT
NOTHING BELONGS TO I.
THE RAW MATERIAL THAT IS LOVE IS BUT
A PLAYGROUND FOR ANGELS AND DEMONS.
HOW THE FUCK WILL MY BRAIN EVER SLOW DOWN?
IT IS QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DISTINGUISH ANYTHING.
WHAT DOES OUR HEAVENLY FATHER WANT OUT OF OUR IDEALISTIC VIEW OF FALLING IN LOVE ANYWAY?
breathe so that i may breathe my dear.
everyday an adventure.
everywhere we go we bring back paintings.
all of them are mathematical representations of eternity,
all of them created by artists under the intoxication of eternal life.
Romance builds galaxies. Romance inhabits moons.
Romance saves me. you save. your love is my courage.
“she fixes me. she provides me with story.”
bumble bee’s leaving the hive. we want to make honey anywhere
and only together.
If I woke up this morning in the hospital I would have flipped.
But Summer is coming my friend…
Lonely hearts stay scared for only so long.
Grab the locusts and pick up the plague.
For the gold is real
and the brain is only concerned with Vigilance.
Death a thing always of regret.
Doubt always something of a barrier.
I will destroy it all. Again.
As afraid as I am.
For Summer is coming my friend…
Scared hearts stay lonely for only so long.
Doubt never cowers –
Ever runs another corner.
So powerless to Emotion,
Courage draws back into misery.
Dawn runs momentum too though.
And is resurrected on the following day.
Yet animals see never a loved one after –
That even sleep reminds them of the final deed.
And yet at any moment a storm.
Ganymede has shifted a bit. And divinity
breathes great channels into an animal returning to the
River and with Momentum of all things.
Yet all things rest. gain chop and awe.
Power corrupts indefinitely and with great precision
does confidence slay each creature
and with no exit does the moon swing around the
system which Chaos rules with seduction.
536: rude now
Obvious and tender. Does the blind man grope for
a face. a name. or
An identity to hold onto.
With perception being ruined
Breathing momentum and exhaling
exhaustion seems right.
However nothing seems wrong
and everything seems not at all right
and just is
and just is cause and effect;
dispersion into avalanche.
my mind attached upon the mechanism of Love is.
obvious and tender.
and at the mercy of old angel midnight
at all times indefinitely never.
- just spilling with time:
Never back where you started.
And always where you are;
Does the nightingale cry upon
Enchantment or Charisma.
Every flirtation a door.
Every door leading infinite Universes.
Indefinite moons with Edens planted
into the river system so that Lovers in trance
upon Divinity may rest their heads
while it rains softly and Poe is on the TV
and me and you are still under the covers.
Never back where we started but
Always in the trees with a nest
and Cummings is on the Radio.
and I am asleep now
anyways with dreams of you
always where I am.
624; closer now the faucet
you wish to know that this is about
that which you have wished to know
but Edens empty into my heart alone
and in yours always yet in mine always
And if ever not…
Paint pictures of Her.
For she will be Glorious.
Indefinitely eternal. and
thinking of the stars in the
of all times.
and in the heart of Ever;
the sedation of Always;
or the current of Adam.
So pitch the Day into the Night
and love me sweetheart forever
i love you sweetheart forever
i love you sweetheart ever.
say i love you.
Since last December
Since last December.
521; more cold water:
“Dissipation into longevity
or whichever comes first,”
Dickinson says while she rides my
train upon the track of these holy headboard.
and she reads to me her poetry; her
Lord, energy. her
the dearest enemy of efficient Momentum
and with her verse comes clarity;
comes genuine exhaustion;
Sleep. Death to the Dreams of the Day
and for good reason
With the Lord of Romance having
been shared, rattled out by our hungry
animal limbs, manic eyes and depressed tongues;
our story content with warm skin
on warm skin
warm now my bones on this pitiful moon
525: shaking off the rust
in dark rooms
find the slit
and with his hand
bring the universe into
so that it may be beautiful
again. and with fervor
horny and decadent,
dejected and with drive
into oblivion does
she take off her clothes,
and for who but me?
637; vanilla yogurt
only natural corners does this young youth know to run game
and yet with much thought and concern is the dying of the day
and what seems only to remain is but the chance at another.
this young sir knows nothing and speaks nothing and is still wonderful in that way.
until i learn much more than i ought to know which is yet close and around
the side of this entropy does this corpse know to run tricks.
die in that time and love it all still
“for the children of my Universe run game into the far corners of moons
in which way the sun comes around the bend the corner once more.
and peaks around to say good morning again my sweet.”
927: all i see
a record spins
a record spins
my wife. my life
my eyes open to kings. queens
and this energy pulls me through the window
and into the sky
ending all to envelopes are sweet the letters
of yesterday are and forever will be